Do you trust me?

Do you trust me when my answer is wait? – God

To some, the answer is a simple yes or no, just as simple as stop or go. Or rather in the middle of the two, the answer is maybe. “Maybe” or “I’m not sure” they say may actually be the most consistent answer to so many questions in life. An answer that only shows the building of uncertainties inside us or we simply cannot let go of our clenching hands and trust. Our thoughts and mindset – wrapped around the ‘what ifs’ and outweighing the pros and cons and yet, we still can’t have a definite answer of what we want. Now it sounds like we are controlling our life a little too much are we now?

A season of waiting, scary yet such an important time of our life. It’s this season where we can take the initiative to prepare for an upcoming opportunity. A season to wander around searching for what’s next. A season to dig deeper into our hearts. A blessing to be able to engage in the growth of ourselves, play a little hide and seek till we finally find what our heart desires. However, we often think of waiting as idling and sitting back for something to just suddenly appear in front of us. And neither was life suppose to be easy.

Although we like to think that once we have overcome something, anything after that will be smooth sailing but sometimes that’s not necessarily the case. We live in a world full of distractions, productivity and materialistic success that the constant comparisons and competition is not an easy thing to avoid. And to sit around and rest for some self care is almost out of the question for so many people. It almost seems like that is discouraged from the world we live in. But we need to recognize that self control is different from self care. 

It’s been an adventure learning to rest in this season of waiting. Constantly driven by productivity, it has not been an easy task to simply rest. Days where I seem to have nothing planned and just relax are the worst things on my agenda. It’s these days where my mind wonders if this is actually where I’m suppose to be, the uncertainties of what’s to come and over-evaluating everything I’ve done and what I could’ve done better… these are the days I would call “unproductive”. In this case, I’m taking some down time for self-care but I’m also taking this time to control what’s to come. However, it’s this time of rest and peace do I really realize that the life I’m pursuing is the one that matters the most, and that has to include our Heavenly Father.

It’s these moments where I can submit to Him, be vulnerable and transparent and let Him do the work. I may not have signed up for the easy life but it is the good life when He is around. And what’s truly amazing is that He has always been around, no matter how distant I feel. How funny it is to even think that my “unproductive” days are the days where He’s distant, but really He’s closer than ever during this time. It’s these days where I can rejuvenate and continue to pursue what He’s given to me and as I go through these days, I am in awe of the many ways I’m living in that I would never imagine, the gifts I never thought I’d have or as cheesy as it sounds, never image the person I’m becoming. And that truly is a blessing on its own.

And although our little city of ours has been dropped with a taste of winter rather than the spring we never get, underneath all this lies the growth of greenery, sunshine behind those grey clouds and a cotton candy sunset we’ve been waiting for. And just like that, we can simply put faith in knowing that the best is yet to come and the wait will be worth it for it is not the destination but the process we adventure into.

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A season of waiting ain’t no idling
Engage, prepare & wander
Trusting that the best is yet to come!

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