Wander with trust.

With a season of transitions and unknowns, we often wander into the uncertainties wondering if this is the correct checkpoint to the next adventure. Or even so, we wonder what our next path is, whether we should choose to step to the left or to the right – possibly afraid to make the wrong decision and fear regret later on.

But what happens when both paths are good decisions and we just have to pick? 

Ultimately, it comes down to t r u s t. Do we trust that we can fully let go of all things behind us and just go.. or do we take one teeny step and hold on to everything we want to control and trust that one teeny tiny step we took?

Just reflecting back on my adventure, I honestly had no idea how to fully open my arms to trust what was ahead of me and believe that this is better than what I had planned. It was like a baby bird learning to flap its wings to fly but only open their wings wide enough to take a step forward and trust it won’t fall. And the only way to open my arms nice and wide was to remove all fears, not just from the mind but also from the heart. It’s easy to believe that I’m no longer fearful, but it’s not easy to believe that I trust that my fears cannot hold me down. I’ve learned that my future is not for me to control and my plans are way smaller than the plans that were created for me. I can run with my own plans but I won’t go far. I’ll eventually come to a point where I can no longer walk further not because I am blocked but because my heart no longer will be on fire for it.

I remember when I was still in elementary, my mom told everyone that one day I would be a kids doctor because she just knew I love kids so much that being a paediatrician would be a waste. I also remember people telling me that I would be great with kids and really see me working with kids in the future. Love for kids, most certainly true… going into med school, sure that was a drive I once had but there is just so much more than that. And that’s not to say med school isn’t a great place to be, but I only recently knew that wasn’t where I was suppose to go. And this realization only came about by willing to search for myself and who I am made to be, not by other people’s expectations. To say that I am finally healed from the wounds I’ve caused myself by being a perfectionist and a performance-driven person is one of the reasons I am set free.

But of course there will still be times when my heart tugs a little to control life, to look at life based on my own performance or make sure things are going in the most ideal way, but what really matters now is that I respond in a new way. It no longer matters about the things that cause me to bring back the uncertainties, but what matters is that how I respond to it. Take a moment to really soak it in this beautiful revelation – not what our failures are, but how we respond to it. And all this can be summed up with one word – T R U S T .

So here I am… almost a graduate in one degree and onto my next one, I am proud to say that it’s been a wild ride and an adventure I never thought my high school self would think I’d be at but I am so unashamed of it! It only builds a brighter fire in my heart to share it to the younger generation and encourage them that this adventure is not under our control but an opportunity to discover who we are, who we were made to me and all the plans that is already planned for us even before we were born. And we run on this adventure together, just trust with our open hearts and believe that all obstacles only makes us stronger and confident enough to be world changers and blessings to others.

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L i v e for the little things.
O w n the cheesiness of life.
& t r u s t with an open heart
for what was planned only for you.
Blessings! ♡ – st

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